Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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