I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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