i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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