apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
