Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize