So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
