Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
