Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
