Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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