she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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