...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
