I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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