Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize