I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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