Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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