On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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