I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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