My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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