OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
