guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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