Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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