I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
