i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
