my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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