Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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