hell yes lets make some ravioli
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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