$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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