one might say we're banned from that church
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
