I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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