My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
