How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he fucked my hip out of place.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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