am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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