Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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