I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
