I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she pinky promised me she was 18
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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