Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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