I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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