Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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