Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its about making memories worth repressing
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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