Me too!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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