Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
