i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
