Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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