So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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