Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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