Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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