Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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