If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
