I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize