She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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