This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i love accidental penises.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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