Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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