That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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