And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
