just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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