Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I love you. Go after that dick
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
