I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
